Something I constantly struggle with is rest. I like to go, go, go without stopping. If something is dirty or messy, I have to clean it or tidy it up right away. If I have plans to go somewhere and there is few moments between when I have to leave and be there, I just can't sit. I have to look at my phone, clean something, respond to an e-mail, anything to keep my mind thinking and me moving.
Life right now is so not fun. I have been on the hunt for a job and it has been quite exhausting. I feel more busy now then when I was working a full time job. I have been going nonstop because I believe that I have to not give up and keep on searching until I am totally wiped. Indeed, LinkedIn and my e-mail has been on my constant radar. I feel like I never get a break from looking at them.
On top of everything, I have been so confused. I have been struggling with thoughts about myself. "Am I good enough?" "Smart enough?" "I'm a failure."
I started to reach a boiling point that honestly should not be a point that I get close to. I felt so overwhelmed. Tears came, doubt and fear started to overtake me and I was completely worn out. Anxiety raised and a terrible headache came on. It took my husband to make me stop and rest. He told me to take a day that I leave the worries behind. That I do something fun and relaxing. Something that relaxes and restores my soul.
I knew he was so right and that I needed rest desperately. So, I took the next day as a Sabbath. I decided that job searches and applications can take a break for one day. I woke up, did a quick clean up in the house because coming to a clean house gives me all the feels. Then, I took a quick shower and put on the comfiest clothes (thinking about what I said about my anniversary beach trip here). I decided that I wanted to go to a local coffee shop and work on my blog (something that I love doing more than anything. I will be a full time blogger soon :)). I ordered a Matcha Latte which I have been wanting to try. Definitely tastes like "health in your mouth" and next time I will ask for a pump of simple syrup but it did bring that coziness that I needed. I sat near a window so I can glance every once in awhile at the sunlit trees. I put my headphones on and played a Bethel playlist while I typed my heart out. This is what I needed.
I am currently at the coffee shop right now. My plan for the afternoon is to stop by Ulta to pick up my favorite hair spray ever and then go to Bath & Body Works to pick up a fall candle. Also, might throw in some gentle yoga. What makes you happy? A cozy latte, candles and writing makes me feel so good inside and it is exactly what I needed.
Guys, I know how hard it is to slow down, to let your mind rest and to have fun when you have worries burdening your heart. But I also know this, if we do not rest, we will explode. Listen to "Take Courage" by Bethel and this pulled on my heart strings: "Slow down take time breath in He said". Our emotions will drive us crazy. Our soul will start breaking down. We need time for restoration. Time for joy. Time to slow down and relax.
Don't believe our culture that tells you that when you are resting, "you are not being productive". Lies. Resting does more than you think. Try it out if you do not believe me. Take a day, half-a-day or even a couple hours to slow down and do something relaxing. Feel the difference it makes in your heart, your faith and your entire body.
What are some ways that you "slow down" and what are some things that you enjoy and wish you did more of?